SO - bench new
Tottenham Hotspur (Spurs) Football Club is located in North London. The club is also known as Spurs. Tottenham's home ground is White Hart Lane. The club motto is Audere est Facere (To dare is to do).
There's a song at St James' Park, to the tune of 'Rupert The Bear', that goes 'Laurent, Laurent Robert, everyone knows his name...' - few Spurs fans will forget it after this match.
With an hour gone one thing separated the teams - Robert's left foot.
The French winger came up with two Goal of the Season contenders to leave us 2-0 behind and shell-shocked.
Robert's first after 35 minutes was slightly the more spectacular, a full volley from 25 yards, while he chose to simply thrash the second into the top corner from about the same distance in the second half. It was no surprise that it was one-way traffic after that.
Alan Shearer weighed in with his 100th and 101st goals at St James' Park, Kasey Keller produced a couple of saves out of the top drawer and further chances came and went.
It seems strange to say it with the final scoreline but there was little between the sides - Robert's strike aside - in the first half.
We looked bright, passed the ball well, had our fair share of possession and, most importantly, kept Shearer under wraps.
Little happened in terms of goal action in the first 29 minutes. Jenas had an early effort, Robert's free-kick curled a yard wide and Given read Keane's dipping volley.
We created the best chance of the half on the half-hour as Konchesky fizzed in a cross that Kanoute just needed to touch home - he failed to make contact.
Five minutes later and Robert's stunning effort. Replays show we had chances to clear the danger in a scrappy build-up, but nothing looked on when Gardner cleared from the 18-yard line - Robert simply slammed back over Keller from 25 yards.
Two more chances followed before the whistle, Ameobi's shot after a quick break from our corner gathered by Keller and Anderton's flick header saved easily by Given.
The second half started in similar fashion before Robert took it by the scruff of the neck again, finding the top corner from 25 yards after 54 minutes.
There was no coming back from that and the lads looked deflated. Shearer smashed a free-kick just wide, Robert produced a carbon-copy and the pair then combined to score the third - Robert's corner prodded home from close range with 59 minutes on the clock.
The crowd begged Robert to shoot every time he touched the ball and everything he touched turned to gold - his corner from the right was headed home from close range by Shearer for the fourth after 65 minutes.
Keller saved from Dyer and spectacularly from Shearer as the home side poured on the pressure.
But a fifth goal didn't come and it was Given who made the final save of the match, blocking King's volley as the game petered out.
MINUTE BY MINUTE
2mins: First effort, Jenas 30-yarder straight at Keller.
7mins: Robert free-kick, right-hand of area, curled a yard wide.
27mins: Richards blocked Ameobi's effort. Good start from us, competed well, fair share of possession, hardly chance at either end.
30mins: CHANCE. Konchesky drove in low cross, Kanoute missed tap-in in front of goal.
35mins: GOAL. Out of nowhere. Clearance met by spectacular volley on the full by Robert from 25 yards, Keller no chance. Similar to Kanoute's against Everton. 0-1.
43mins: Break from our corner, Robert to Ameobi, into box, shot gathered at second attempt by Keller.
44mins: Taricco clever cross, Anderton flick header straight at Given.
Half-time: Newcastle 1-0 Spurs
Half-time: SUBS. O'Brien for Woodgate.
47mins: Robert's free-kick deflected just wide.
51mins: YELLOW. Gardner for foul on Dyer.
52mins: Shearer thunderbolt from free-kick flashed a yard wide.
52mins: SUB. Mabizela for Poyet.
54mins: GOAL. Another amazing strike from Robert. Nothing on 25 yards out, left-hand side, unleashed shot into top left corner. 0-2.
57mins: Robert close to hat-trick, drilled free-kick from 30 yards just wide.
59mins: GOAL. Shearer prodded home Robert's corner from eight yards. 0-3.
60mins: SUB. Postiga for Kanoute.
64mins: YELLOW. Carr for foul on Robert.
65mins: GOAL. Robert corner missed by everyone - apart from Shearer. Poor defending really. 0-4.
74mins: CHANCE/SAVE. Dink in from Hughes to Dyer, volleyed saved low to his right by Keller.
77mins: SAVE. Shearer rasper tipped over by Keller.
78mins: Bramble free header from Robert corner, missed target.
78mins: SUBS. Ambrose and Solano for Speed and Robert; Dalmat for Konchesky.
83mins: SAVE. Given alive to block King's volley with his feet.
87mins: YELLOW. Ambrose for foul on Postiga.
Line-ups: Newcastle: Given, Hughes, Bramble, Woodgate (O'Brien, 45), Bernard, Jenas, Speed (Ambrose, 78), Dyer, Robert (Solano, 78), Shearer, Ameobi. Subs: Harper, Lualua.
Spurs: Keller, Carr, Taricco, Richards, Gardner, King, Anderton, Poyet (Mabizela, 52), Konchesky (Dalmat, 78), Keane, Kanoute (Postiga, 60). Subs: Burch, Doherty.
Referee: Alan Wiley.